Guest Post: Quaker Food Pantry, by Christine Hoang

My friend Christine Hoang is a parent at San Francisco Friends School. She coordinates the school's participation with the San Francisco Friends Meeting's neighborhood food pantry, which is a local outpost for the San Francisco Food Bank. I was clerk of the meeting when we went through the discernment process to create the pantry, and I'm pleased that not only has the pantry expanded to serve more people, it has helped keep the relationship between the school and the meeting vibrant.

The following piece by Christine was originally published in the school's "Circle Back" newsletter and is reprinted with the author's permission.

Quaker Food Pantry
At the Meeting House

By Christine Hoang
SFFS Parent & Board Member

Saturday mornings, the Friends Meetinghouse on 9th Street begins its bustling day with deliveries from a wide variety of vendors. There’s the regular delivery from the San Francisco Food Bank, which drops off staples like pasta, bread, fresh fruits or vegetables from suppliers or farmers; deliveries from Food Runners which picks up fresh and prepared food items and pastries from specialty stores like Whole Foods; and a very special bread delivery from a volunteer named Al. Al spends his Saturdays gathering bread donations from Safeway and other stores and delivering his bounty to the Meetinghouse. Al’s bread delivery now accounts for over half of the bread distributed by the Pantry.

Three years, ago, when SFFS first began partnering with the Quaker Pantry, the Pantry served 60 – 70 people every Saturday; now, the Pantry serves well over 100. Clients are slotted into twenty-minute windows in which they can shop. Each client usually brings one or two bags to fill up with groceries for the week. For most clients, the Pantry is their only source of fresh fruits and vegetables, as well as staples like bread or pasta.

SFFS families contribute to the Pantry in vital ways. Several families contribute financially, a commitment that has allowed the Pantry to feed another 25-35 clients a week. A few parents are also trained to work as shoppers, going to the Food Bank to order the week’s delivery, and filling in when volunteers are short. Most families though, contribute time. For the past three years, each SFFS grade has adopted a month in which families are responsible for staffing the Pantry. The day starts around 10:00am, when the first deliveries arrive. Working alongside delivery drivers and Meetinghouse volunteers, SFFS families unload crates and boxes off of food trucks and create a real store! Vegetables and fruits are placed into large bins or buckets, cans are sorted, pastries and perishable items are arranged delicately on tables, and loaves of bread are stacked into towers.

Another wonderful aspect of the project is that kids work alongside adults.  As SFFS parent Tawni Sullivan has noticed, “Kids feel empowered by really owning their own jobs, not just helping the grown ups with theirs.” Younger kids blacken bar codes on donated bread, organize and stack cans, and count out the vegetables for clients. Older kids break down cardboard boxes and do the math necessary to ensure a fair allocation of food for everyone. 

Around noon, the Pantry opens its doors and the first clients filter in. Most of the clients are elderly; many are monolingual Cantonese speakers; several are homeless. The Quaker Food Pantry affords them regular access to healthy, fresh food. During the shopping hour, all volunteers work at distributing food, handing out three oranges a piece, two onions, or a can or two. For Jen Maeder, “working side by side with your classmates and their families on a weekend really cements the SFFS tenets of community and stewardship. Playdates and soccer games are a great way to socialize with the school community on the weekends but there is something different about once in awhile rolling up your sleeves and working alongside your classmate on a weekend. To me, it shows my kids that I take seriously what they are learning about community and stewardship in school. It’s not something I just expect of them, but I am choosing it for myself as well.”

This is my younger son at the food pantry in 2010,
when it was just starting out.

Blog posts that never were...

I have a list of possible blog posts that I was hoping to write but didn't when they were fresh.

There's a low chance I'll get to many or any of these by now, given that we're gearing up to move to Philadelphia (see Robin's post about it), so I thought that would be an interesting post in itself.

• Reflections on reading Pink Dandelion's Introduction to Quakerism
• Reflections on reading Thomas Merton's New Seeds of Contemplation
• Reflections on reading George Lakoff's Whose Freedom? The battle over America's most important idea
• SF "Fiends" School t-shirt (limited edition sold to benefit 8th grade class trip--there, that's all I really had to say about that)
• Berkeley Meeting had an introduction to Quakerism workshop back in early May
  
• Naomi Klein's appearance on "Democracy Now" back on March 9 -- taking on climate change is and has to be political; one can't rely "merely" on scientific and environmental evidence to make the case by itself.
• Isn't Chris Hedges' challenge to liberalism more relevant to most liberal unprogrammed Quakers than Rob Bell's challenge to fundamentalism?
• Description the lesson I taught at College Park Quarterly Meeting in mid-May (I still hope to post the outline, at least)
  

I had also hoped to say more about Quaker Heritage Day, way back in February... Oh, well! Again, here's one of Robin's posts about that.

[Updated: Added the bit about Quarterly Meeting.]

Class Meeting for Business

This was the 3rd grade newsletter for my son's class recently.

Some of you have heard the terms “Class Meeting” or “Meeting for Business” being used to describe meetings wherein the class discusses issues. We would like to use today’s newsletter to detail what these Meetings for Business look like.

When a student has a conflict with another student (or a group of students), the initial student first tries to solve the problem by being assertive. We have given the students explicit language and tools to try, e.g., “I feel (feeling) when you (specific action). I want you to stop (or other desired behavior).” With this language, the students learn that each of them has a responsibility to solve their problems.

However, sometimes the problems are more complex or difficult to resolve. In this situation, after the initial student has put forth significant effort, he/she tells the other parties involved, “I don’t think we can solve this problem on our own. I’m going to write it down in the Class Meeting Notebook.”

We don’t introduce the Class Meeting Notebook until we have developed a safe classroom environment, in which students have developed a strong sense of trust and support with one another. Our roles as teachers, during the Meeting for Business, are to make sure the discussion stays on topic, remains productive, and that no one ever feels like he/she is being attacked. We achieve this by asking thought-provoking questions, which help students find their own solutions to various problems. We also facilitate the discussion by making sure only one student speaks at a time, and providing the opportunity for all voices to be heard.

Then, during our next Meeting for Business, with the teachers guiding the conversation, the child brings the issue to the class. First we hear from all parties involved, followed by those who witnessed the event, and finally other students can share their thoughts, following the Quaker idea that the collective wisdom is greater than the individual. We hear from both the alleged “victim” and “perpetrator”, but by the end of the discussion, it comes to light that we all share responsibility for our actions during any given conflict.

The purposes of our Meetings are as follows:

• The students learn how to resolve their conflicts independently.
• They listen to one another, while controlling their behavior.
• They grow to be appreciative of one another’s perspectives (learn to empathize).
• They learn how to live and work together as a community.

We hope this clarifies our Meetings for Business for you. If you should have any more questions, please email your teacher.

-- Rich, Amabelle & Sarah

I'm impressed with the ways in which the SF Friends School tries to incorporate vital Friends practices into the classroom.

SF Friends School Patch

This patch was designed by middle-school students at San Francisco Friends School. I quite like it.
The school also has enormous banners with one of each of these words hanging in the 3rd floor gym. It's quite something to see.

(This is a bit of an experiment. If you're seeing this on Facebook and it doesn't show an image, you can go to the original blog at http://chrismsf.blogspot.com.)

Guest Post: Amy Baker on What Really Happens at a Quaker Meeting for Worship?

My 300th post is a guest post by Amy Baker. This was published in the San Francisco Friends School newsletter, Circle Back, and is reprinted here with Amy's permission. Besides it being a good article, I'm tickled that she picked up my “FAQQ” meme! -- Chris Mohr

FAQQ: Frequently Asked Quaker Question:
What Really Happens at a Meeting for Worship?

By Amy Baker, San Francisco Monthly Meeting & Quaker Life Committee member

“What do you mean, there’s no priest?” my mother said, baffled, as I explained how the Meeting for Worship would proceed at my wedding. She had been unfailingly supportive as I adopted this faith, but for someone steeped in pre-Vatican II Catholic traditions, the concept of silent worship (unguided!) was a stretch.

There aren’t many places where we sit in silence, in our world. You might see an audience sitting in silence during a performance, and you might see a random collection of individuals sitting in silence in a library or a park, but how often do you experience a deliberate, collective silence? It’s hard to explain how different it is, and how powerful it can be, to sit in silence together with others.

The Quaker faith was founded on the principal that every person can have a direct relationship with God, without the intercession and interpretation of clergy. The Meeting for Worship is designed not just as a gathering of like minded worshipers, but as a place to meet with God in your mind. Each one of us can experience that “still, inner voice” that guides us, if only we set aside the time to reflect in silence. Even then, Meeting for Worship is different from solitary prayer. Friends seek connection to one another as they collectively discern the path forward.

I once heard ministry that described the silence like a painter’s canvas--even if the whole meeting is silent, it’s got boundaries and a certain richness to it. And when those present spontaneously stand and deliver a personal message, grounded in their own experience but related to some spiritual issue they have been working through in their mind, more color and depth is added to the canvas.

I have not found a service of worship where so much is left to the worshiper as it is in a Friends meeting. There are none of the usual cues, and it is up to the individual to tune in, quiet their mind, and direct their own spiritual experience. Some meetings I go through the entire time without ever clearing my mind of clutter I came in with. Other times I feel completely open, both to insights that percolate up and to messages I hear from fellow worshipers.

One aspect of Meeting for Worship I particularly like is its inclusiveness, in that it respects a wide diversity of religious backgrounds in a way that affirms the importance of all faiths. As foreign as it must have been for my mother to experience a Quaker Meeting, it didn’t detract from her own religion and I find that even the biggest religious skeptics I encounter can see the appeal in it.

If you have ever been curious to join a Meeting for Worship, as practiced by the San Francisco Monthly Meeting, please join other members of the SF Friends School community on Sunday, February 7th at 11am. Meeting for Worship lasts an hour, and afterward there will be a potluck meal to share, whether you bring a pot or not. The Meeting House is at 65 9th Street, between Mission & Market.

There is a short intro session at 10:40 if you want to learn more about the underpinnings of this form of worship, and there is supervision for children who choose not to stay in the Meeting after the first 15 minutes. There is also a caregiver in the nursery for babies and toddlers.

Collectively, we would love to see you there!
~~~

“I’ve been to meeting for worship at the SF Meeting House a couple of times over the years. It’s a great chance to learn more about Quakerism and to see if we adults can sit as quietly as our kids do during Meeting at school. The communally contemplative meeting room is a wonderful place to take time out from our ever hectic lives, think about what’s most important in our lives and hear inspired thoughts from others.”
-- SFFS Parent

More on the Intro to Quakerism session

This was posted on the Parents Association page of the SF Friends School today...

Introduction to Quakerism Summary and Handout

The PA's Parent Education Committee hosted An Introduction to Quakerism for some 35 parents this past Tuesday morning. SF Meeting member and SFFS parent Chris Mohr and SF Meeting member Amy Baker gave a wonderful speed history of the Quaker faith and an overview of the SPICES testimonies (simplicity, peace, integrity, community, equality, stewardship). SFFS librarian Chad Stephenson and SFFS art teacher Caren Andrews spoke about how they incorporate these values into their work with our children.

Chris and Amy asked everyone to briefly mention any faith traditions they were raised with and/or are practicing with their own children. The answers were as diverse as our community, and included: Buddhists raised in Thailand, the U.S., and the Swedish Church in Japan; Catholics raised in the US, Ireland, and Argentina; Jewish; Estonian Lutheran; Catholic-Jewish; athiest; Protestant; Korean Protestant; Korean Presbyterian; "hodge-podge"; Episcopal; mutli-religious; non-denominational spiritual; Episcopal-Muslim; Southern Baptist; Quaker; Quaker-Buddhist; Baptist-Quaker; Quaker-Episcopal!

We passed out a handout with a brief background on Friends and a list of a few resources, including books and websites. Paper versions were included in the students' take-home weekend folders. (I was going to upload a PDF of the document here but can't quite figure it out in blogger.)

Intro to Quakerism at the SF Friends School

Today Amy Baker & I, representing SF Friends Meeting, and Chad, Caren, and Lisa from the faculty of SF Friends School, reprised Amy's and my "introduction to Quakerism" workshop for parents that we first did a year ago in this format. Amy & I tag-teamed a thumbnail sketch of Quaker theology and history. Chad, Caren, and Lisa talked about how Quakerism and Quaker values are applied in the classroom and in P.E., most notably through weekly meeting for worship, regular applications of silent reflection while doing art or writing, peaceful problem-solving, and so on.

We had one of our biggest turnouts for a Quaker-related parent education event! There were at least 30 people there, probably more. They included parents of new kindergarteners, parents of older children who had transferred to the school in the last year or two, and a few who have been with the school for a few years now. It was a nice mix. We didn't have enough time for Q&A both because we had four presenters and because we ended half an hour before I thought we would. Still, it was a good discussion, and clearly people were engaged.

Here's the outline of the talk.

Introduction to Quakerism
10/6/09

1. Opening silent worship
2. Introductions; name, connection to school, what faith community if any have you been or are you part of
3. Quaker theology: Fox’s revelation about “Christ has come to teach his people himself” and there is “that of God in every one”
4. Quaker values grow out of that theology: simplicity, peace, integrity, community, equality, stewardship (SPICES)
5. Some history about how that has played out: truthtelling, equality for women, abolitionism, peace and war relief work, prison reform, etc.
6. How Friends schools evolved out of this faith tradition and what role do they play today: the search for truth; time for silent reflection; core values of Quakerism; cultivating outer achievement and inner goodness/morality
7. Q&A leading to sharing
8. Closing silent worship
   

The icebreaker (2) is usually one of my favorite parts. We had a large enough group that we had to go fairly briskly through this, but we still gained an appreciation for the variety of experience & identity people brought with them.

Busy Season

I haven't had a chance to post much lately. It's been a mite busy around here. There was Affordable Housing Week in May as well as some staff transitions and budget issues at work, plus Quarterly Meeting and our monthly meeting's retreat also in May, and then the end of the school year came this month with presentation night and portfolio day and school plays, on Tuesday the big end-of-school meeting for worship and celebration in Golden Gate Park, sleepaway Quaker camp at Ben Lomond Quaker Center for 11 Year Old this week, and no camp for Seven Year Old this week. Whew!)

Anyway, I read a great book several weeks ago, and today I had a chance to capture the good bits, which I'll post separately.

Here's a photo immediately after the end of the all-school meeting for worship, 6/16/2009:

Here's a photo of the boys before they left for the last day of school:
And for comparison, this is what they looked like on the first day of school in September 2008:

Wildflower Hike 5/28/09

Today I went on the first grade wildflower hike with the first grade from San Francisco Friends School.

Seven Year Old was SOOO excited. Last night before he went to sleep, he grinned repeatedly, and said, "Daddy, Daddy, you're going on the field trip tomorrow!"

I went on the same hike when now-Eleven Year Old was in first grade. That time I had to leave a little early; this time I got to stay the whole time and carpool with another parent and child, which was nice.

The hike was in the Marin Headlands, in the Golden Gate National Recreation Area, specifically on the trails above Rodeo Lagoon. I love Rodeo Lagoon, and hadn't been there in either a year or two years.

The day was overcast with fog -- known 'round these parts as the marine layer -- which was thick enough to hide the sun and keep it quite cool but thin enough to let plenty of UV rays through. I got a bit sunburned because I put only a little bit of lotion on.

The best part of the hike came at the beginning. One of the two first grade teachers called the children around him, calmly, quietly, without yelling. They were quiet and rapt as he explained about the trail, where we were going, and just a few guidelines.

Then a few hands went up. "Don't step on plants." "Don't pick the flowers." "Don't touch poison oak." And so on. The children were so quiet and attentive, it was beautiful. The result of practicing learning together as a community with a respect for one another and with an ability to be together in silence. It was truly rewarding to see.

We walked about a mile and a half up the hall, to where some remains of the former military batteries are. On a flat piece of concrete we ate lunch, and the children were instructed to find three types of wildflowers to sketch. The rocks and the ruins were more interesting than the flowers for many of the children.

I was disappointed that we didn't walk back down the hill after lunch in silence, which the teacher had said we would do. Oh, well. I would have liked a brief moment of silence in a circle to close the hike, too, but we didn't. I wasn't one of the people in charge, so I was okay with that.

Overall, I am so glad that I carved out the time from work to go. I enjoyed talking to the other parents, and seeing Seven Year Old in one of his "native environments" outside the home, interacting with his friends. He had a good time, and though he didn't feel the need to stay by my side most of the time, he was really glad I went. So was I!

Affirmation circle: Story of a 5th grade basketball team

Ten Year Old played on the 5th grade basketball team this year, with other students from the Friends School in a league at a city rec center.

Following the last game of the season a couple of weeks ago, the team gathered for a pizza party in a room at the rec center.

Once most of the team was there, along with a hefty chunk of the parental population, the boys gathered in a large circle, mostly rather quiet and calm. In fact, I was struck by just how quiet and calm they were. No doubt part of it was they were tired after a day at school and then a game on the court. Yet clearly, they were simply used to drawing together, without anyone asking them or directing them.

Coach Chris, one of three coaches for the team and the lead PE teacher at the school, asked for a moment of silence. Whatever chatter remained disappeared. There was some rustling, but still an air of calm and quiet fell about the place.

A few minutes later, Coach Chris asked the team to share an affirmation of something or someone from the season. He said that once the first person said something, then it would go around the circle in order from him. Students could contribute their own affirmation, echo what someone else had said, or pass.

After a less than half a minute of waiting, the first student spoke up. He thanked the three coaches for their help and the parents for their support. Many of the students echoed his remarks. Another boy thanked the parents of another student for giving him rides to practice. When my own son's turn came, he said that boy had spoken for him -- the same parents had given my son rides, too.

One of the last affirmations came from a boy who thanked a teammate for his efforts, saying that he hadn't started out as the best player but he had really worked hard and been a leader and inspiration for the others. This coming from a 10 or 11 year old boy about another one -- wow!

The final affirmation came from the staff coach at the rec center. I believe this was his second year working with teams from the Friends School. He was warm and full of praise for the team and they way they supported each other. I couldn't help but think that this team must be a bit different from most he works with. They sure didn't win many games, or even score that many points, but they had a spiritual maturity that was awesome to behold.