Approaches to having children in Quaker meeting for worship

[NOTE: I wrote this as a comment on Wess Daniel's post, "Thoughts on Bringing Children to Meeting for Worship."

[His article in turn also refers to Kathleen Karhnak-Glasby's excellent article in Friends Journal, "Bringing Children to Worship: Trusting God to Take Over from There."]

Green Street Monthly Meeting, our liberal unprogrammed Friends meeting in Philadelphia, is looking at how to better integrate the children with the rest of the meeting -- though I doubt we're ready to ditch Firstday School.

A commenter on Wess's post decried the practice in some unprogrammed meetings of having an occasional "all-ages" meeting that is poorly conceived, and a "poor hash." I can certainly imagine being in an otherwise-unprogrammed meeting that did a semi-programmed one poorly. However, I wanted to share some of my recent experience of the last two years.

Green Street has the children in Firstday School for the first 45 minutes (in two groups, elementary and middle school aged), and to worship the last 15 minutes. The teens generally come to meeting for worship.

On the 5th Sundays, a few times a year, we have a mostly programmed meeting for worship. It's definitely a hash, and a tasty one at that!

The one or two I've attended were led by a Friend who grew up expecting to be a minister in another tradition, so has some ability to lead worship; and more important, who is now a high school teacher, with a real gift for drawing young people at many different ages.

One 5th Sunday I missed featured my older son singing a Green Day song ("21 Guns") with his peers playing electric guitar. Since he has never sung with those peers before or since, I'm sorry I missed it. (And it's not like we're about to organize a worship band or something; I have personally never seen anything more high-powered than an acoustic guitar or a violin, usually around the year-end holidays, at this meeting myself.)

The warmth of the greetings at rise of meeting and expressions of joy following these semi-programmed meetings are enough to reassure me that we are saying something quite positive about our worshiping community. To me, it needn't imply anything negative about expectant waiting worship the other 48 Sundays a year.

Quaker Revival in West Philadelphia, 12/6/12

So I went to the Quaker Revival in West Philadelphia on 12/6/12. I missed potluck and the very beginning of the service, because I went there right from the annual joint meeting of the Advisory Council and Board of Directors for the organization where I work, after which I had to help clean up. Micah Bales and Robin Mohr have written about it already and reported accurately, in my opinion. I have something personal to add. Really, it was a semi-programed meeting for worship, with rollicking music just at the start, and a few Friends asked to be prepared to bring a message to share as vocal ministry. There was a good crowd in the parlor (where the organizers were sitting) and the living room of the home where we met. I was waiting for someone to break through the ceiling and lower a pallet down with someone on it who couldn’t get through the crowd. Because I got there late, and for a variety of other circumstances, I ended up standing in the back, in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. At first, I was slumping against the door frame, a bit tired, and wondering if I should mind being in the next room or not, two rooms away. Then I was transformed in the twinkling of an eye. I thought I could stand like a steward at the ready waiting for a call to help. And that helped! I stood with better posture, with my hands clasped behind my back, and felt better both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I was authentically in “waiting” worship, in the classic phrase of Friends. After a while, my biceps fell asleep, which was a first for me. It felt odd to have my arms flop forward when I reached for something. No pins and needles, just floppy! I found the vocal ministry generally rich and speaking deeply, and sometimes “to my condition” directly and sometimes less so. I do think the messages are still working their way through me, too, over a week later. Overall, the revival meeting was somewhat similar to convergent Friends events Robin and I have participated in. So while she and I may have been a bit jaded, in the sense that this wasn’t spectacularly new and eye-opening (see her post), yet I felt like it was a time of spiritual refreshment and good worship together as a group. The revival meeting closed promptly at 9 pm, which was helpful to us as we had our 9th and 5th graders with us, and it was a school night. It meant we didn’t spend as long socializing at the end as we might have liked, but we did give a ride home to a Friend who had been at one of the original convergent events with Wess and Emily Daniels after Pacific Yearly Meeting in the mid-2000s. PS Micah quotes from Philipians in his 2nd post after the event. That was the book I was reading ahead of the event, thinking there might be a message for me to give! It didn't quite rise to that level, but it's reassuring to know it was on another Friend's heart as well.

Guest Post: Amy Baker on What Really Happens at a Quaker Meeting for Worship?

My 300th post is a guest post by Amy Baker. This was published in the San Francisco Friends School newsletter, Circle Back, and is reprinted here with Amy's permission. Besides it being a good article, I'm tickled that she picked up my “FAQQ” meme! -- Chris Mohr

FAQQ: Frequently Asked Quaker Question:
What Really Happens at a Meeting for Worship?

By Amy Baker, San Francisco Monthly Meeting & Quaker Life Committee member

“What do you mean, there’s no priest?” my mother said, baffled, as I explained how the Meeting for Worship would proceed at my wedding. She had been unfailingly supportive as I adopted this faith, but for someone steeped in pre-Vatican II Catholic traditions, the concept of silent worship (unguided!) was a stretch.

There aren’t many places where we sit in silence, in our world. You might see an audience sitting in silence during a performance, and you might see a random collection of individuals sitting in silence in a library or a park, but how often do you experience a deliberate, collective silence? It’s hard to explain how different it is, and how powerful it can be, to sit in silence together with others.

The Quaker faith was founded on the principal that every person can have a direct relationship with God, without the intercession and interpretation of clergy. The Meeting for Worship is designed not just as a gathering of like minded worshipers, but as a place to meet with God in your mind. Each one of us can experience that “still, inner voice” that guides us, if only we set aside the time to reflect in silence. Even then, Meeting for Worship is different from solitary prayer. Friends seek connection to one another as they collectively discern the path forward.

I once heard ministry that described the silence like a painter’s canvas--even if the whole meeting is silent, it’s got boundaries and a certain richness to it. And when those present spontaneously stand and deliver a personal message, grounded in their own experience but related to some spiritual issue they have been working through in their mind, more color and depth is added to the canvas.

I have not found a service of worship where so much is left to the worshiper as it is in a Friends meeting. There are none of the usual cues, and it is up to the individual to tune in, quiet their mind, and direct their own spiritual experience. Some meetings I go through the entire time without ever clearing my mind of clutter I came in with. Other times I feel completely open, both to insights that percolate up and to messages I hear from fellow worshipers.

One aspect of Meeting for Worship I particularly like is its inclusiveness, in that it respects a wide diversity of religious backgrounds in a way that affirms the importance of all faiths. As foreign as it must have been for my mother to experience a Quaker Meeting, it didn’t detract from her own religion and I find that even the biggest religious skeptics I encounter can see the appeal in it.

If you have ever been curious to join a Meeting for Worship, as practiced by the San Francisco Monthly Meeting, please join other members of the SF Friends School community on Sunday, February 7th at 11am. Meeting for Worship lasts an hour, and afterward there will be a potluck meal to share, whether you bring a pot or not. The Meeting House is at 65 9th Street, between Mission & Market.

There is a short intro session at 10:40 if you want to learn more about the underpinnings of this form of worship, and there is supervision for children who choose not to stay in the Meeting after the first 15 minutes. There is also a caregiver in the nursery for babies and toddlers.

Collectively, we would love to see you there!
~~~

“I’ve been to meeting for worship at the SF Meeting House a couple of times over the years. It’s a great chance to learn more about Quakerism and to see if we adults can sit as quietly as our kids do during Meeting at school. The communally contemplative meeting room is a wonderful place to take time out from our ever hectic lives, think about what’s most important in our lives and hear inspired thoughts from others.”
-- SFFS Parent

What do you do in Quaker meeting for worship?

Last Sunday -- First Day -- 9/27/09 -- at 1 p.m. San Francisco Friends meeting presented a workshop, "What do you do in meeting for worship?"

The presentation by a long-time memeber of San Francisco meeting was based on Quaker writings and on interviews of current and former participants in San Francisco's meeting for worship. Interviewees ranged in age from approximately late 20s to mid 60s. Years attending Quaker meetings ranged from 12 to over 50.

The presentation was to be followed by a time for practice or discussion or written reflection (your choice).

Young people and people new to Quaker worship were especially encouraged to join us for this event. Interested middle and high school students were welcome, too.

I couldn't be there, though I sorely wanted to participate. I was elsewhere on family business, which was quite rewarding in a different way. The turnout was modest, based in part that the Folsom Street Fair was the same day just a few blocks away.

Perhaps we'll do it again some time!

This workshop was another part of an ongoing effort to welcome new people into our meeting and to talk more clearly with one another about our spiritual practices.

Thoughts on the Quaker Way

The test of Quakerism does not come only on Sundays.

The test of Quakerism is not even or not only what you believe.

The test of Quakerism lies in keeping that faith and trust all week long.

When you encounter someone in trouble on the street.

When you face competitive or hurtful behavior at work.

When you see self-destructive behavior in friends or family.

How do you respond?

Can you tap into that lifespring of living energy

that we find here in waiting worship?

Guest post: What really happens at a Meeting for Worship?

This is a guest post by Amy Baker, San Francisco Monthly Meeting & San Francisco Friends School Quaker Life Committee member. Reprinted with her permission from the "Quaker Question" column in the SF Friends School newsletter.

I remember the first time I went to a Quaker Meeting. The things I didn’t know about the Quaker faith could fill a book, and I was utterly at a loss as to what to DO. There were none of the usual cues- no priest, no prayerful call & response, not even a cross on the wall indicating what direction to face. I fidgeted and felt self conscious and then finally hit an “aha” moment: you mean, this is up to ME? This relationship with God, this form of worship, the ability to find meaning in silence?

It was a radical thought.

I also remember the ministry that was shared. To this day I turn over the words, the messages. At the time I marveled at how accessible the message was -- simply spoken, grounded in personal experience, but related to a worldly outlook and to a spiritual challenge faced by the speaker. Some of the messages related directly to inner struggles of my own, not yet articulated.

It was a revelation that a form of worship that had less structure could be more relevant, and somehow speak to me directly. Back in San Francisco, I sought out the Meeting House and went a few times on my own, before becoming a regular attender. At first I enjoyed the respite, the completely accepting and non judgmental environment. Later, as I understood more of theological underpinnings
that create such a space, I experienced Meeting on a more spiritual level. Soon I noticed that if I didn’t go to Meeting, my week was missing something.

Not all Meetings for Worship are like that first one I went to- sometimes I spend the entire hour trying to quell the mind chatter.

Some are even more powerful. Each one is different and yet I have worshipped this same way in several different US cities and a few foreign countries and they are remarkably similar, right down to the announcements after.

As the Quaker guide Faith & Practice puts it: “The Meeting for Worship is the core of the Quaker practice. There, Friends gather together in expectant silence… without prearranged program. Meeting for Worship is different from solitary prayer... Friends seek connection to one another and to God dwelling among them. In some Meetings, the ministry may have a common theme, each message deepening and enriching the other, and connecting to one’s own thoughts. Some Meetings are entirely silent... Together we can more clearly see Truth; we can better receive and understand continuing revelation.”

If you have ever been curious to join a Meeting for Worship, as practiced by the San Francisco Monthly Meeting, please join other members of the SF Friends School community on Sunday, December 7th at 11am. The Meeting House is at 65 9th Street, between Mission & Market.

There is a short intro session at 10:40 if you want a primer, and there is supervision for children who choose not to stay in the Meeting after the first 15 minutes. There is also a caregiver in the nursery for babies and toddlers. We would love to see you there!

Extended Meeting for Worship 7/29/07

[I still have a few more posts brewing about the FGC Gathering. Meanwhile, here is an announcement especially of interest for Friends in the San Francisco Bay Area. -- Chris M.]

Dear Friends,

Ministry and Oversight Committee invites you to join San Francisco Friends Meeting for an extended Meeting for Worship on Sunday, 7/29/2007. (It being the fifth Sunday of the month, we are trying this experiment, in hopes of creating an opportunity for a deep and enriching time together.)

It will begin with a half hour of reading from the Bible or other holy writings. This is essentially a modified Meeting for Worship. We gather in silence and when someone is so moved, he or she may read a selection from scripture, with a verse, a longer section, or an entire chapter. There is no commentary from either the reader or listeners. The reading functions as a guided meditation, helping to bring the participants into a reverent and deply spiritual place. We wil then segue into a traditional silent waiting Meeting for Worship for two hours. People may join and leave during the two hour period, because for some it is very hard to sit still that long.

We ask you to be very mindful of the worshipers that day. Please minimize noise in the fellowship and back hallways as well as the lobby as much possible. Also note that our children will gather with us for the last 15 minutes of the meeting as opposed to the first. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact any member of the Ministry and Oversight Committee.

In the Light,

The Ministry and Oversight Committee
San Francisco Friends Meeting